To learn everything you need to know about how not to write a speech, take a look at this one from Sen. Ben Sasse (R) Nebraska.
It’s full of the kind of jokes I’d expect to hear from Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Please understand, I’m a big fan of Triumph; Sen. Sasse is no Triumph.
And please don’t blame the staffer who probably wrote this. I suspect it’s exactly what the Senator asked for.